Being Visible (on Substack) - The Paradox...
Why you can absolutely hide behind your words but long term it's dangerous for your psyche
What’s on in the Sparkle on Substack membership? - Next week, we have two live classes happening in the membership.
🗓️ Monday - How to Build a Referral Culture inside your Substack with me and Tuesday - The Art of Being Visible Online with a guest teacher (my visibility coach Özge).
We’d love to welcome you into the community - find supportive colleagues and all the current Substack education you’ll ever need from someone who has been building, growing and loving online life here since 2022!
Replays will be out right after!✨
Online Visibility for mid life women is a paradox (especially on Substack!)
We’ve spent our entire lives trying to fit in, feel accepted, included, seen, appreciated.
Do you remember being 8 years old?
There's a part of you that wants to be seen. And a part of you that would do almost anything to prevent it. Sounds like a contradiction but it’s in your cells - even if you bring conscious attention to your most confident self - there are other stories playing out under the surface, ours and our ancestors stories - it’s literally your history…
My friend used to turn bright red in class every time she was asked a question - it happened all through adulthood too - she was one of the most self assured people I knew - a super successful social worker, loved her job but turn all the eyes on her and she wanted to crawl into a hole.
Let’s not forget - the internet exploded💥, we got new tools that are SO easy to use and it all became possible. You used to be able to finish scrolling your IG feed - imagine!
Your next door neighbour had a £30k month - you know because your on her email list, your friend from school started a jewelry business after a hobby post went viral on IG and Taylor Swift’s team tagged her. That mum from the school drop off sells mama merch; oh gosh, Lily Allen bought the rights to her Dallas Major cap design for her sell out tour!
Being chosen just for showing up is EVERYWHERE…
We started doing ‘the work’ then we compared ourselves to others, got in our own way and had to grieve all the drafts never published for fear of being seen. Gosh darn it.
Use video or your personal brand dies a slow online death in front of everyone you tried to impress…
Substack is a quieter corner of the internet but internet consumption habits went up a great big notch… they change faster than a toddler given a remote for the first time.
Our beloved instagram changed from a (highly) curated photo first platform to a fast moving ‘capture the attention in 1.5’ seconds of your video please platform, don’t use the same b-roll twice, make sure to use a visual, a text and an audio hook - never reach your followers, dance to this tune on this day at this time…
Babe - no… we are the curator, we are the performer, we tell the audience when to turn up - we command the room!
If you want to write, write, if you want to go live do it, if you want to use instagram to show your followers a snack ready version of yourself you’ve got the green light!!
Never forget all the rules are made up and there will ALWAYS be people who want to consume content, stories, beautiful things the way you want to present them… ok? Good!
Oh Hi Sparklers!
Welcome to June! 🌞
How are you?
Thought I’d share the new highlight tool and bear with me?
There’s a point to this…
In a noisy, overstimulating world of ‘being’ online, working online oh and trying our hardest to grow…
Plus getting ourselves in front of the right people online, we have to know which parts to highlight (for ourselves and our audience)!!
This month, I’m highlighting the subconscious and conscious work of visibility…
Members, our intention for the months of June and July is to ‘Feel into Visibility’ ahead of our Digital Detox (13-17 July 2026) - by Claire Venus 💫 and our optional conscious power down for summer.1
Even if we think we’re working inside of a comfort zone, the very nature of having a public online presence, a personal brand, a swirl of words, articles and social media posts that can be read in the middle of the night somewhere else is exposing on the ole psyche! 🍥🙈
Usually as a woman, there is a part of you that learned, a long time ago, to stay small and compact.
Perhaps the first time you tried to be seen, something happened, a silence where applause should have been, a correction with a raised voice, a room that didn't make space for you… all of these experiences land in our body and can if we’re not careful start to run the show for our sovereign adult without us even realising.
Do you know her?
Maybe, she is the one who hovers over the publish button, who rewrites the bio for the fourteenth time. Who asks are you sure…? before you send that email reaching out to collab?
She is the version of you who decided, (quite reasonably), that visibility online wasn't 100% safe.
The tender truth is that she hasn't caught up with who you are now. The technological revolution and being in the mix with peers, elders and younger generation is a confused soup of what we are supposed to feel, want, need, do -and yet…
She doesn't yet know what you've built, what you've survived, what you're capable of.
And she won't learn it from staying hidden.
She'll only learn it when you show her it's safe to come forward, shine her light - be a beacon for your beautiful work, words, art and message.
Integration, self investment and awareness is the path…
Live with nowhere to hide
Last Thursday, I did something I’ve NEVER done (and never thought I would do).
I taught a live visibility class for over an hour on Substack for ANYONE who wanted to show up.
I did this for two reasons…
To test my comfort zone edges and how I felt teaching live in a room full of people coming and going…
To test the technology and if this might be a viable way to cut using zoom for certain classes in the future.
If you’d like to try this, we have some options in Substack’s new live/ recording studio set-up…
Go live for everyone
Go live for paid subs only
Chat/ Questions on/ off - it’s one way delivery unless you read and engage with the chat…
Logo on!
Post replay as is - edit slightly. I usually pull out quotes and a summary with Claude ai.
Here’s the class replay…
In Live video, interviews, podcasts and once our words are spoken out loud, we have nowhere else to go…
We can’t curate, sleep on it, sit with it for a weeks…
Parts of our storytelling and voice come out we weren’t expecting or planning…
This is why they are equal parts thrilling, terrifying and liberating…
And in a ‘trust recession’ online it’s so important to show people who you are. It does two important things; turns the wrong people off, nurtures the right people.
Visibility as grief
Being seen means being known. Being known means risking rejection. Are we all self protecting against the loss of not being liked, appreciated, read properly.
Here’s the thing no one talks about when you work online… sometimes, stuff happens behind the scenes and the curated online version of what you’ve presented, edited, highly polished feels like the safest thing in your life.
There’s nothing wrong in that but then if the light gets in and fractures your ego you’re a hop, skip and a jump away from a fractured psyche…
Here are my top 5 tips in how to stay sane in it all.
Know deep to your bones that your online self is a curated version of you where folks have a parasocial relationship with a version of you that doesn’t exist. It’s normal to meet people in real life and think well you’re completely different or even you’re nothing like I thought or even gosh you’re exactly the same.
The Visibility block is a safety and exposure issue not a strategy issue - you have time to figure it out in plain sight.
Do the work - the therapy, working with coaches, journalling, plenty of screen free life… keep yourself grounded.
Mute everyone who triggers you or makes you feel less - no exceptions, no mercy!
Bless and Block 2- anyone who wades in uninvited, who brings their unmet needs to a space you’ve curated. Do it quickly.
I hope this post is supportive of your online journey today, it’s free to read so please to share it.
Claire
✨
P.S - Doors close for my once a year live run signature programme - Your Beautiful Digital Magazine on Substack - on Monday 9th June - we’d love you to join us - the course has £100 off the regular price at the moment. Members get 30% off too. (link is in our chat)
This course is for female founders building world class magazine style publications on Substack who crave connection, organisation and to stand in their power in this wonderful moment we have to shine on this BRILLIANT platform - https://www.creativelyconscious.co.uk/yourbeautifulsubstackmagazine25
I take August off every year - a summer reset to celebrate my birthday - my business still has things happening but I don’t consciously ‘show up’ - it’s a great test to see what happens when I’m not consciously plugging in and it’s the work of much self built privilege.
Thanks Glennon Doyle for this reframe - so helpful.